Thoughts on a Hot Run

Yesterday was out last day on Marco Island in Florida. Running was difficult because it would get hot very quickly in the morning, so I only ran once - yesterday. 

On this run, I had a lot on my mind. Mostly I was thinking of family. My dad and sister live on Marco. Dad will be 92 this year, and it is clear he is in the twilight of his life. A couple nights ago we were to go out to dinner, but my stepmother checked his blood pressure, and it was very high. He complained of dizziness and a bit of numbness. This is a more common occurance these days. Occasionally he has what would be considered mini-strokes. This is going to be a pattern, and I can't all worked about it everytime I hear about it.

My relationship with my dad has not always been positive. Many of may not know I lost my older brother when he was 16. He was my parents only biological child. It devastated my folks, and they changed. It took my a long time to conlude that my dad really found it hard to show love after that. He and my brother were so close, so I think he was afraid to get that close to anyone. In my younger days I took this as he was a mean man a good deal of the time. Hindsight gives you a much clearer picture.

So during this run, I was trying to figure what do I do with the time I have left with him. I like to share my running with him. I think he finds it interesting that I run, and that I run races. His first comment after my first half marathon was, "Did you win?" Dad does not always understand the metaphoric victories in life. 

I told him yesterday I will be running the marathon in Toronto. He looked amused by it, but said nothing. Still I think he is proud of the fact I am out there running, and doing my best to be healthy. I wish he could join me. Of course that might make me hate running. Hehehe....I took up golf because he enjoyed it so much, and I found I loved golf, but I hated playing with dad. He always had to point out what was wrong with my game. I don't think I would want to hear his comments about my running. 

I think the hardest part of being an adult is watching your parents go. I lost my mom in 1997, so I have been down this road before. It is painful. My goal now is to make it less painful this time.

Charlie