Today is a hard day for me. I have written on this before, but now the elephant is being addressed. I have gained a significant amount of weight. As for this morning I am at 240lbs.
I cried. Poor Mark had to console me. I feel like a failure at the moment. I feel like so much I worked for is gone.
There are so many reasons why this has happened. Number one though is, that as an emotional eater, I have not found a healthy way to deal with emotional issues in my life. I need to do that. Step one is to make a plan, and stick with it.
I now know my January schedule, so I am going to schedule workout/run time. When the doctor told me he wanted me to run only 3 days a week, I feel that was the beginning of this. I am going to work on bumping the running back up to 5 days a week. My hips feel fine, and I think it is worse for them if I don't run.
As for the emotional issues I am dealing with in my personal life. I am going to make a concentrated effort to work on those. I may be sharing some of what is going on here. I feel this will keep me more honest.
For those of you who read this and have been inspired by my story, I feel I have let you down. I know I have let myself down. Please keep the faith that I will get a grip on this and turn things around. It does me no good to go back to being 300+ lbs.
Today I am discouraged. I know I will be fine....but for today, I feel like failure.
Charlie