It's the Little Things

Every run is different. It doesn't matter if you run the same route every day, there is always something different about it. It's the little things.

One reason I love reason is I get to see the world around me. After living a life in a car, seeing the world through windows, running gives me the opportunity to be in the world, and not an observer of it. Little things happen which make me so glad to be part of the world.

Yesterday on my run I was coming up on a house where an elderly woman was on her front porch area. I saw she had a cane, and I saw she was trying to do something. As I got closer I saw she was trying to use the cane to maneuver the delivered newspaper so she could try to pick it up. She was having a great deal of trouble, and looked like she was in pain.

I startled her, as I ran up, and said, "Let me help you with that." I picked up the paper and handed it to her. She looked relived she didn't have to bend over and pick it up. She thanked me, and told her to have a great day, and she smiled.

We live in a world now where we spend a good deal of time looking down, texting, surfing, interfacing. We are forgetting to be part of the world. Sometimes it's the little things that happen that help you realize there is a world, we need to be part of it.

Charlie

Hood to Coast 74 Days Away - Why?

The question comes up as to why I want to run this race. I first heard about Hood to Coast a few years ago when a documentary came out about it. The film follows various teams and their journey. Stories include; first time runners who have no clue what they've gotten themselves into; a woman who had died briefly with a heart attack the previous year and was coming back; a family who had lost a loved one; a group of men(jocks) who love the race and running, and more. 

What I found fascinating was their desire to run, be part of a team, and see some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. Most of all I appreciated the challenges each had. I love a challenge. I love the idea that it's you challenging whatever comes up on the run. Typically this is why I run marathons. While this is not a marathon, it is a kind of marathon. It's endurance over a period of time. The marathon is one long race. This is a combination of races you have to do within a certain period of time. 

Once I saw this film, I knew I wanted to run this race - somehow. Now, thanks to my company, I have the opportunity. I had this opportunity last year, but something called a heart attack kept me from running it. Anyone who knows me, knows how devastated I was about not running Hood to Coast. I've spent the last year talking to anyone about how I want to do this. Now I can.

Other members of my team have various reasons for running it. Some are just happy to have won a contest and are happy to be running. Others may have had this as a goal. Some were advised to do the race. We are all training in various ways. I've already laid out my training plan. 

Everyday I try to read up on the race so there are few surprises. I think my staff would like me to shut up about Hood to Coast. I am prone to be of over excitement about it. I have 74 days to train and stay healthy....and I can and will.

Charlie

Hood to Coast 77 Days Away - The Solitary Run

Hood to Coast is two races at the same time. First it's a relay. You and 11 other people are out there running, tacking a long and winding course from Mt. Hood to the Pacific Ocean. Each one of the team awaits the next person to come in so they can go.

At the same time this is a singular endeavor. Each leg is it's own course, of which you, and you alone are running at that time. In this respect, I think this is a solitary run.

I thought about this on my run this morning. I've not done a relay, but I have done many races on my own. This will be a race I think of as three races, for the 3 legs I'll do. Once I have my legs assignments, I can better plan how I will run each one.

On my run this morning I thought about the solitude of the race. I know there will be a few thousand others out there, but basically it will be me and the Oregon scenery. I look forward to that solitude.

Charlie

Hood to Coast - 78 Days Away: Do I Have a Plan?

Do I have a training plan for this race? Nothing on paper, but in my head yes. This is a different kind of race. I've never run a relay, so I look at it differently.

First you have to respect where you are running. Think about it, you are running 197 miles, starting at a mountain, and going to the ocean. There is any and every type of elevation and terrain on this route. How do you train for that? I've been running on the road and a gravel trail since I moved to Providence. Yesterday I talked about hills, but there are step grades that I am going to have a power walking training on.

Distance is a bit easier. Few of the legs over 7 miles. I'm going to work on getting to 6 miles in training. Because I want to run a half in the Fall, I will have some longer runs in there. For now though, this is my main focus.

I will have to run multiple times a day. This is going to be a challenge for me. So I am going to have a few days where I run twice a day. I also want to run in the evening, because that will be more of a challenge for me.  While I may need to run at 2am during the race, I won't train at 2 am.

No music! The rules say you can't run with a MP3 player, and that isn't a big deal for me. Mostly though, I want to hear what's around me. Some of the run is along busy highways, and I want to hear things coming and going. Of course being partly deaf plays a big role in this. Music will keep me from hearing all the sounds around me.

Speed? No speed. Sorry team, we aren't going to win this thing. I've been working on an even pace, and am pretty good at the 15-16 min/mile pace. Elevation will make it slower, though through the flatter areas I will "kill" it.

Team work. Because I know Christy and Katie, who are on the team,  I can depend on them for moral support and whatever team work we may need out there. We are already messaging on a daily basis, so this is a no brainer. Of course if we are in separate vans, that could be a problem.

Training plan is set....I just need to do it.

Charlie

Hood to Coast - 79 Days Away: Hills

Having done 99% of my running in Chicago and Indianapolis, the idea of running hills just has never been there. Because of my various feet issues, my doctor in Chicago told me not to run hills. No problem in Chicago or Indianapolis - hills are virtually non-existant. Not so in Providence.

This is one hilly town. Everything is rolly around here, and I have had to adjust. Now, this isn't a bad thing, it's just different. A 3 mile run here feels like a 5 mile run. I feel like I've had quite the workout when I'm done. I'd like to think it makes me a better runner.

Who knew that moving here would provide a good training ground for Hood to Coast. I can train on hills here. Granted, these are not mountains, nor are they close to the elevation changes I could potentially deal with, but it gives me some experience.

One of the things I will have to do in training is hill repeats. The College Hill area has some significant inclines, and I plan on speed walking those so I can prepare for Oregon. That's going to be tough, but it needs to be done.

Charlie

The Life We Are Meant to Have

Every year I watch the Tony Awards, and every year I find myself asking "What if?" No, it's not a fair thing to do. It's not fair for anyone to do.

In high school, when you have the world ahead of you, you think you know what you want to do, but you don't know what the world has in store for you. I've written before how I thought I would be an actor with an Oscar by the time I was 50.

I had wonderful theatrical friends like Todd Cerveris, Chris Runge, Sarah Pickett, Michael Haithcock, David Ferguson, and so many more. I wasn't a big fish in a high school small pond, but I thought I was a decent sized fish. Not getting into NC School of the Arts showed me a lot at the time. It showed me that I was someone who once I kicked down, I didn't know how to get up and go on. Instead I got up, and I said, "Ok....what else can I do?" Fact of the matter is there are days I still wonder what I can do, but it's different now.

My life has been a series of defining moments. The loss of my brother, not getting into NCSA, being raped, falsely testing HIV+, being a gay rights activist, working at Southwest Airlines, running, heart attack. All of these things have led me to the life I was meant to have, and am still having.

As my friends will tell you, I am not always the one who shouts my accomplishments from the rooftop. I think I get that from my parents, who kept things private. Don't get me wrong, I have a mouth on me, but when it comes to tooting my own horn, I do so in bits, and I make sure there are others who also get credit(where credit is due).

My running though has been a singular effort. That is me doing what I call, right foot, left foot repeat. That's me overcoming clubbed feet, obesity, self doubt, arthritis, heart disease and age to do what I love.

A lot of people have been very nice to congratulate me on winning the sales contest to get into Hood to Coast. Again, give credit where credit is due. That was not me. That was Josh, Theresa, Frances, Will, Sarah and I coming together to make sure runners and walkers have what they need to be active.  To be number one in the company is very satisfying, but I know this is just one contest, and there will be others, and I won't always be successful.

This though was meant to be. A year ago when I lost the chance to run Hood to Coast because of my heart attack, I was devastated. It truly reminded me of how I felt when I didn't get into NCSA. That sense of I've been knocked down, and now what will I do.

What I did was get back up, figure out the next step in life, but this time, I was still determined to get into this race. I didn't give up. I told anyone in the company who would listen that I fully intend on running this race, and somehow I have to get there. Hard work and team work got me into the race.

The hard part now is back to the singular me. I'm the one who has to put one foot in front of the other and succeed.

The life I was mean to have was where I learned not to give up on what you truly want. If could talk to 18 year old Charlie, I would let him know that the important thing is figuring out what you want to work towards and go do it and do it hard and well. Know that life is not just you, but it's about who works with you. It's about who gives you the chance to prove yourself. It's about what you do with the chance. That is how you get the life you are meant to have.

While I like to think there is a bit a reincarnation out there....really this is it. This is the life we get. Don't we owe it to ourselves to make the one we are meant to have? So now and then have the "What if?" moments. Just don't make those the moments that define you.

Charlie

The Road to.....Has Changed

In running you have to be prepared for anything. In this case, I'm changing up my running plans. I'm going to have to back out of Brooklyn. Money is a main consideration. A trip to NYC is not cheap. Too many other things(like bills) to pay for. It's ok though, I have other races to do. 

I'm beginning to think about what I want to accomplish in running. There are races I want to do before I can race no more.Some of those are well known(Boston). Others are not. I would love to run in Paris one day. If I can't live there, I sure would love to run the streets of Paris. I'd like to run a race in Florida so my family can come watch. I would like to go back and finish a Chicago Marathon. One of my must runs is very close to happening - Hood to Coast. 

For those not familiar, Hood to Coast is a 200 mile relay race in Oregon. It starts at Mt. Hood, and winds its way to the Pacific Ocean. A team of 12 do various legs. I first heard about this race when the documentary on the race came out a few years ago. At that moment this race rose towards the top of my must run list. 

My company sponsors a team every year. Last year they selected me to go, but it was a few days after my heart attack. I wasn't able to go, and it devastated me. I've made it no secret to the powers that be that I would like to be considered this year. There's a twist though. The company decided to have a contest, and winners would be on the Hood to Coast team. All you have to do is be one of the top 6 stores in the country to surpass your sales goals by the largest amount. 

My store is the newest store in the company. People are just finding us, but I challenged my staff on this. At the same time the company was offering a sales contest for full time hourly employees, a sort of bonus. My assistant manager is my only full time hourly person, so I made a deal with him. I help him get a bonus, he helps me get to Hood to Coast. DEAL!

The sales contest ended, and he is getting a great bonus. So how am I doing in the Hood to Coast contest? Going into the last weekend, my store is sitting at ..... #1. Yes, we are number one. The fight for the other 5 spots is close, but I am looking very solid going into this last weekend. I have a dedicated staff, who is doing their best. While I benefit from this, so does my store. We are only 3 months old, and we are exceeding expectations, and I could not be happier. So it's a win - win right now. 

So while I'm hoping I'm not jinxing it, it is looking good for me to fulfill this dream race. Send positive vibes....cross fingers....say a prayer....whatever you like. I feel this can happen....now it's time to get it done!

Charlie

The Road to......

Typically when I begin a running journey I call it The Road to _______________. Since last July I have been on the road to recovery from my heart attack. I've had my ups and downs, mostly ups. The move and new job have added stress to my life, and as a result,  I have not eaten as well as I should, but that is now changing.  As I'm beginning to get into a rhythm, I find I'm doing better on the health front.

Now I turn my attention to my running, which for a while has not been a top priority. I've been running 3 times a week the last couple of weeks and feel better about me and my running. My key to running is the goal I set for myself. Just getting back into it isn't enough, I need to have something to work towards. I began to think about what I want to accomplish this year. I want to run a half marathon. A half marathon, like any other long distance race is a step by step process.

I've started the process with the 3 runs a week. Now I need to build on that. In looking for a half marathon, I wanted to go somewhere I've not run before. Well I have not run most places around here, so that was the easy part. I wanted it to be exciting. I wanted a crowd. I wanted fun.  I found the race.

This October I will head to New York City - Brooklyn to be specific, to run the Rock n Roll Brooklyn Half Marathon. Those who know me, know I have a love/hate relationship with RocknRoll organizers stemming back to the ill fated Rock n Roll Chicago a few years ago. At that time they stopped my race prior to what their own rules stated. This time I double checked the course limits, and I can finish well within the 4 hours....as long as they follow their rules.

So now I'm on the Road to Brooklyn, but in reality, this Road is a big longer. I'm gearing for a marathon in 2016. So this is a step on the way towards that goal.

Along the way I will be running, training and racing. I may be running the Falmouth Road Race this summer, which is a well known 7 mile road on Cape Cod. We will see.

In the meantime, the more important thing is that I am enjoying running, and I feel good doing it. All is well running wise.

Charlie

The Look

I've written on this before, and I feel I need to again. Runners don't have a look. Runners have a stereotype of being rail thin and always running. A runner can look like...well me.

This last week I had business dealings with a man, who at one point said to me, "Well you don't look like you run." WTF!!! Nice manners sir. By the way in reference to your wanting basketball shoes, the only dunking you do involves a glazed donut and a cup of coffee.

I get "the look" from people like that, where they look my up and down, and determine some things about it. It pisses me off, but I deal with it. I got a bunch of medals, documented race times, and this blog to back up my running cred. What you got?

Now, I know I'm not who you think you are going to encounter in a running store. That's the point. You want to encounter me in the store, because I know how to relate to lacing up shoes for the first time, and heading out for a run, worrying if I'm "doing it right." I'm the guy who can tell you every detail of his first marathon and go over what you need to think about as you prepare. I'm the one who is going to give the best advice I can so you can get the right shoe(not just the pretty one). I'm the guy who wears XL, and it's ok.

"The Look" underestimates me, belittles me, and is insulting. Have you seen who shows up at races? It's me, several thousand times over. So get over the preconceived idea.....and understand I am a runner.

Charlie

Act III - Providence

The longest winter in the history of the world....or at least Rhode Island is coming to an end. With Spring comes a new act in the play that is my life - Act III - Providence.

Mark and I moved here in December. Little did we know what winter would be like. About a billion of inches of snow later.....ok, maybe closer to 70 inches, we see glimmers of Spring. The Winter and all the snow meant very little running for me, and we don't belong to a gym, so I've gained weight, and feel gross. However the next act is upon us, and there is movement afoot.

Providence Running Company is open! It's not where it needs to be yet, but it's a work in progress. I've never opened a store, and I'm not so sure I want to do it again, but here it is opening, and we are beginning to greet and meet the runners and walkers of Providence.

So far everyone has been wonderful(with the one glaring exception of a bank manager who thinks we won't do well, but still wants a discount). People are excited to have a shiny, new running store in their neighborhood.

I've hired, who I think, is a great group of people. They are all eager to learn, eager to help runners, and eager to have fun. So far so good.

Even though there have been a lot of bumps on this journey, I'm enjoying myself, and enjoying starting a business from scratch. It's an interesting process, which also frustrates, because I know what needs to be done, but am dependent on many many people to help, and communication is not a strong suit to these folks.

Still there has been wonderful support from people who I respect, and that is what has helped me be patient, and at times kept my laughing.

Providence has been good to Mark and me. We have met wonderful people. We live in a wonderful place. We are enjoying the town. I'm also enjoying running here. I'm finding nice places to run and good people to run with occasionally. I'm enjoying running....which has been a long time coming.

Yesterday I ran my first 5K since my heart attack. The St. Pats 5K was fun, fairly Irish-ish, and a great way to get back to racing.

Providence is a quirky town, but it fits us. Mark and I are kind of quirky, so I'm sure we'll fit right in.

I call this Act III, because this is my third store in my career. This could be my last store. I feel very settled with this one, and can't imagine moving on to manager another one. I have a lot of creativity with this store, which I didn't have in Indianapolis. I have more freedom, which I didn't have in Chicago or Indianapolis. One thing is for sure, I am determined to make this as fun an experience for my staff and me as possible. I feel I was missing some joy in Indy, and I have a chance to get it back.

So far, I'm liking Act III.

Charlie

Something Different

One of the things I find interesting about working with the running public are the runners who want something different, because they want to something different. Over the years I've heard comments like this:

"I'm tired of blue shoes, do you have something different?'
"I can't be seen in the race in the same kind of shoes I wore last year."
"I hear Asics is the best shoe, so I have to wear it."
"My friend told me I need to run barefoot, so I will try it, because it worked for him."

Now, I'm not going to say you need to never try anything different. I think people should, but I think they need to look at the larger picture. Why do they really want a different shoe? Are their current shoes not working? Has something changed in their running? Did the company stop making their shoes(I'm talking to you Supernova Classic people)?

I'm not a fan of the vain reasons to change shoes. To be honest, no one, and I mean NO ONE, will know you wore the Brooks Adrenaline last year, nor will they care if you wear it this year. Don't get me started on the color issue. There is no ONE brand that is the best shoe.

When I work with runners, I am happy to help them figure which shoe works best. I bring out three shoes, one of them being the shoes they have had. 9 times out of 10 they stick with the shoes they've had. Why? Because those are the shoes that actually work for them.

Now am I being harsh in my criticism? Maybe, and I admit it. I'm a function over fashion runner and will always be. I feel if I let someone out of a store without trying to help their running, somehow I have failed that runner. Sure enough, the pink shoe will be wrong, they will ache, and I will get the blame, because I sold it to them. Most times if I can educate the runner on what they should be looking for, that something different turns into their regular shoe, and they are happy runners.

Again, I have no problem with folks trying something different, I just want it to be for reason which will help their running.

Charlie

New Year, New Hope

This was not a banner year for my running. In fact, it was an almost nonexistent year for my running. Injuries, then the heart attack kept me off the roads. Not a good 10 year anniversary of my running. So I look to 2015 with a lot of hope.

This morning, I ran 1.26 miles around our new neighborhood. It was darned cold, but once I got going, I felt mildly chilly. Mark rode along side on the bike. It was invigorating, but good to get out. I hadn't run since prior to our move. So now I feel I can get to running again.

I'm working on a race schedule. Of course everything is a bit up in the air for the early part of the year as I open a new running store. Still I have registered for the St.Pats 5K on March 21. From there I slowly build to a half marathon in the fall.

Typically this next year would be a marathon year for me, but I'm not ready for a marathon, but want to do some distance, so a half will do. I've decided to run the Baystate Half Marathon in Lowell, MA in October. Rumor has it that it's about as flat a half as I will find. Hope so.

My optimism also spreads to my new venture here in Providence. The store I'm opening is not ready yet, but it is being built. I am beginning to reach out to area running groups, races, schools, organizations, etc., trying to establish a connection and grow interest in our store.

I'm also excited to explore new places to run. So all in all 2015 is my year of hope and optimism that I will be running the way I want to run.

Happy New Year everyone!

Charlie

Year Eight

I never get tired of this story, so excuse me while I tell it again.....

Eight years ago I was in a miserable job which sucked my soul out of me. It was called Macy's. I was so incredibly unhappy, and even unhappier that I hadn't found anything else. That changed when I spoke with Dave Zimmer at Fleet Feet Sports in Chicago. Dave is a hugely successful Fleet Feet owner, and a true lover of running. He interviewed me, and told me he would give me a call on Friday to let me know if there was a place for me. It was one of those interviews that you felt sure you nailed.

On Friday, Dec. 18, I went in to Macy's before my shift, and told them I was quitting right then and there. The HR woman seems confused and asked if I wanted to give two week. No I didn't. She told me by doing this I would be eligible for rehire. There are some bridges you burn, and some jobs you decide are worth walking away from - Macy's was that.

Anxious hours went by, and then I got the call from Dave. He told me he knew it was close to Christmas, but would I be able to work some for them until I could leave Macy's. I told him that I had quite three hours earlier, and could be there today if needed. He laughed and told me Monday would be fine.

For 3.5 years I worked in the Lincoln Square location with some wonderful people. I learned so much about the business and how you treat the running customer. I have kept those lessons with me through today, and always thank Dave Zimmer for taking a chance on me.

From there, I moved to Indianapolis, working for BlueMile. Like most jobs, there is a mix of good and bad, but still you learn from your experience. Gareth Wilford and Janet Crofton gave me the chance to be a manager, and I am forever in their debt for giving me the reins to the store in Carmel. I worked with outstanding people, and wonderful customers.

Nobody leaves a job because they are happy where they are. I needed something more. I am now in the next stage of my career. Year Eight has me in Providence, RI, where I am preparing to open a store. This is a new adventure, and at this point, no clue where it will go. If it is like the previous seven years, I think I am going to do well.

There are some constants in the last eight years. I have worked with some incredible people. I have helped countless people with their running/walking goals. I learned more than I thought I ever would. I have loved my career. If you don't love what you are doing, you need to find something else. When you love what you do, hang on to it as long as you love it.

Earlier this year, I looked at other things to do, but my heart told me that running specialty was something I hadn't finished, and am glad I hung in there.

Here is to eight years in the business, and to many more.

Charlie

The End of One Chapter

I am in my last few days at my current store - BlueMile. It has been a series of mixed feelings for me as I wrap things up. For starters I have an outstanding staff. No matter what has been thrown at them(and they have had a lot thrown at them), they have responded the best possible way. They have endured ownership change twice. They have seen people they loved working with come and go. They have shifted to a different tone. Change isn't always easy, but I have done my best to make it as positive as possible for them, and they responded well.

My departure did not come as a surprise, as my staff knew I was looking for new challenges. They are very excited for me, and still saddened that I'm leaving. I feel the same way. Still they have carried on with their usual professional attitude and positive outlook.

I am so appreciative of staff past and present who have made my job fairly easy. I was lucky to have three assistant managers during my years who were some of the best people I could imagine working for me. Angela, Paul and Jason are all great people. I respect and admire them. I'm also proud of the careers they have started for themselves. I'd like to think I did my best to prepare them for what lies ahead in their respective careers.

Melissa, Angie, Greg, Frank, Brandon Allison, Debbie, Joy and Marlo are my current staff, and they are amazing. Some staff you have to hand hold. While this may be true in the training stages, if you are good at training, you should never have to hand hold a staff member. These folks know their jobs, and to be honest could run the store themselves(though I won't recommend that).

I am glad to have worked with my fellow managers, as we have shared some experiences that only other managers could understand. You are good people, and I will miss that camaraderie.

There are people who are no longer with BlueMile who I owe a huge debt to - Janet, Gareth, Justin, Derek, Bradley and Michael are people I relied on for support and encouragement when I needed it. Their departures left a void, which to be honest just could not be filled. I would work with these people a millions times over. They are that good.

My initial goal when I came to Indianapolis was two-fold. One was to have the chance to move up to a manager position. Second was the chance to work with a running hero of mine, Bob Kennedy. Done and done. I am forever grateful for the chance to prove I could manage a store successfully. I am also so happy that for a time I got to work for Bob Kennedy. He is a man who knows what the future of running specialty is, and is smart enough to get people on board who can fulfill that vision.

So the end of this chapter means a new one is about to begin. During conversations for my new job I was initially told this was a lateral move. No, it isn't. This is a chance to take what I have learned in 7+ years in running specialty and start something new, in a new city. I see nothing but positive in this.

Providence Running Company will be a clean canvas, and I am eager and excited to created some art on it. I have always believed a running store should be the center of a running community, and now I get to create that center.

Again, much love and thanks to my BlueMile family. I carry all you have shared with me, and I hope to pass all that on in my new adventure.

Charlie

The Move: New England

In December I will be celebrating two milestones. First will be my eighth year in running specialty. Next will be my new adventure. We are moving to Providence, RI so I can work in a running store there. This will be a truly exciting adventure as it's a new store, so I feel I will have a blank canvas to work with, and create something special. I can't go into details, but trust me this will be great stuff.  So now Mark and I begin our packing and our figuring out where to live, etc.

I'm going to enjoy getting to know the Providence running community. There are major colleges in the town, and I know there are more than a few running groups. I also have New England to explore, including a little two about an hour away called Boston.

Over the next month, I will also look back at my time in Indianapolis. I have wonderful running memories here, and treasure them.

For now though, we are looking ahead to the next adventure.

Charlie

I Don't Get It

Occasionally I talk with someone who tells me they don't get running. Yes, someone in my store, being fit for shoes will tell me they don't get it. They've heard about the high runners get. They've heard about the joy it can bring(sounds like they read this blog). Still, they don't get it.

This week I spoke with a woman who is certainly giving it her all. She's been running since June. She wanted to lose weight, and her daughter encouraged her to run. The daughter runs, and is planning on a 5K with the mom. So this woman is doing her best to do a 5K with her daughter.

She asked me when is she "supposed to get it." I told her, and will tell you all, there is no easy answer for that question. Running can mean different things to different people. The high some runners get can be due to any number of reasons, which may not have to do with running.

I've written extensively on the joy running brings me(including a post last week). So I tried to explain to this woman what running does for me. I could tell she still looked a bit perplexed. So I brought it to something she could understand.

I asked her why her daughter runs. She told me it's just something she's always done. I asked if the daughter enjoyed it. "Oh yes," she said, "she's run since middles school and loves it." I found how to get through to her. I suggested maybe her daughter just wanted to share something she loves with her, and have a bonding or shared experience. Maybe this was a way the daughter wanted the mom to feel connected to her.

You can assume, and you be correct, that a light went on in the woman's head. She hadn't thought of that. I told her she may end up not liking running, or maybe not experience that high. She will, though, experience a moment with her daughter that they can talk about for years.

I told her my sister doesn't run, but my wonderful memory is her being out on the course for my first half marathon, and then meeting me at the finish. She didn't have to run with me, but I still shared that moment with her. It's one of my best running moments.

I told her running itself is right foot, left foot, repeat. What gives us the feelings are the moments we live through while running.

The woman bought new shoes, socks, and went away with a new appreciation for what her running was for. Maybe she got it.

Charlie

A Joyful Run

Today was one of those days you just feel joyful running. Temps were in the 50s and the sun was shining. I was on the Monon Trail, with Fall colors coming through. I liked everything about my run. I liked the pace. I felt at ease. Runners and I exchanged plenty of hellos. Days like this are what give me so much joy running.

I headed south from the Monon Center, and got to 96thSt, and then headed back. Seems simple enough. Of course, I take nothing for granted, nor do I find it simple. A heart attack make you think about your running a bit more. You think about how you are feeling quite a bit. I felt great.

While I was out there, I thought about what I want to accomplish over the next year of running. First step is to run a bit more. I try to do 3 days a week. I would like to get to 4 days a week. Next, I want to enter a 5K. I can do it at this point. This time next year, I would like to do a half or full marathon. That will be more of a process, but if I build a good base/foundation now, there is no reason I can't.

Making these goals brought me even more joy today. All in all, a great day running.

Charlie

Review Time: Hoka Clifton and TomTom Runner Cardio

There are a couple of items I'm excited about reviewing. I haven't reviewed running items in a while. Then again, running hasn't been a priority until recently.

FYI - today I ran 4 miles. Yes, 4 miles. That is officially the longest I have run since my heart attack in July. I felt terrific!!!

On today's run I got to try two different items. I ran in a pair of Hoka Cliftons and I used TomTom's new Runner Cardio GPS. Yup a twofer!

First let's look at the Cliftons. This is a very lightweight shoe from Hoka, masters of the maximally cushioned shoes. I have run in the Bondi, and have tried out the Conquest. The Clifton is a lighter, smoother version of Hoka. First thing I noticed once I slipped on the shoes was how incredibly light these shoes are.

Don't mistake lightness for lack of cushion. This shoe has a lot of cush to it. I felt nothing but a cushy feeling every time I took a step. I also felt freer moving in this shoe. I didn't feel like I was using a lot of effort in the Clifton.

Now, here's the deal. I wear a size 8.5 4E. This is a D width, but it can accommodate my foot for a time. I don't know if I would run a marathon in it, but I could do 5Ks with this shoe. It is very snug, close to be tight, but not there. This should tell the average medium width foot person that there is plenty of room in this shoe. I really enjoyed running in this shoe quite a bit. John, the Hoka rep is loaning me these shoes for a few weeks. They are testers he uses, and he came by my store last night for a fun run. I got more Hoka info, and really feel this is a strong brand with some great shoes.

Garmin has long been the king of the GPS and Polar has ruled the Heart Rate Monitor world. Here comes TomTom to take them both on with their Runner Cardio GPS.
This GPS has a built in HRM with no strap for your chest. The HRM is part of the wrist piece. An infrared sensor monitors the blood flow in your wrist to let you know your BPM. Because I am now an expert on my heart, I know what I've been doing in rehab and the gym, and let me tell you this HRM is pretty darned accurate.

The GPS is easy to use. There is one button that you can use to toggle around and make your settings before you go. Whether you are going on a run, hitting the treadmill, or just needing a stopwatch, this computer can do what you want it to.

During the run, it's easy to toggle and see your real time pace, overall pace, heart rate, miles, etc. The face is big enough to read at a glance. The computer looks bulky, but I found it comfortable. One of the features I haven't tried yet is race pace, where you can race against a previous run, and you can see how you compare.

All the info can be downloaded and you can keep track of it all on TomTom's website. This GPS is $269.99. There is a multi-sport version for your biking and swimming needs as well for $300. I think this piece is worth the price.

www.hokaoneone.com
www.tomtom.com

Charlie

What Do I Love About Running?

This morning I helped a woman who is trying running for the first time. I asked her how it was going so far. She told me she hasn't felt that "high" everyone keeps talking about. She then asked, "What do you love about running?"

I smiled, and I told her it was a pretty long list. Specifically I told her, I love the peace that running gives me. I love to be able to run in beautiful spots that take me to nature....or I find some coolness in the city. I love the fact I can clear my mind, or really think about things with no interruption. I love the fact that I can just have time for me, and not worry about anything or anyone else for a while. I told her it was "Me" time.

"So you don't get that high?" she asked.

I have, but it hasn't been a feeling of euphoria. It's just been a feeling of normalcy and peace for me.

Now, I have no idea if that was the answer she was looking for, but it's the answer she got. She thanked me for helping her, and told me she hoped she would like it more. I hope so.

Charlie

Isn't It Funny...

This morning I went for a run along the White River. The trail I took was a new one to me. Someone I met this week told me about it, and I thought I would try it. It was a warm morning, with yellow dotting some of the trees, a reminder that Fall is coming. This morning, I decided to listen to a classical playlist. Off I went.

As I run, I usually use the time to think about things, and this morning, I had a lot to think about. I thought mostly about what had brought me to this point running wise. It's safe to say my running has been spotty for the last few years. It certainly wasn't where I wanted it to be. I wasn't making time for running. Ironically, when you work for a running store, you actually don't get to run all the time.

Isn't it funny what a heart attack can do.

I've run more in the last month, than I have in over a year. I could barely run after my failed marathon in Wisconsin last year. Pain, then more pain, then depression set in .

Isn't it funny what a heart attack can do.

To get me geared up about running, I've thought a lot about some of the amazing people I've met in my running career. I've met people who have overcome arthritis, Cancer, stroke, heart attacks, and any other malady you can think of, so they can go right foot, left foot, repeat. I've met some of the great icons in this sport: Dick Beardsley, Ryan Hall, Meb Keflezighi, Dean Karnazes, Bob Kennedy. I've made friends with people who have won races, and have finished last. All of these people have mad an imprint on my life.

If you were to ask me in high school what I would be doing in my 50s, running would not have been anywhere on my list. Winning my Oscars and Tonys would have been what I predicted for myself. You just never know where the road leaves you.

Today on my run, I thought about all of these people and things going on, and what I wanted the road ahead to look like. I came home, and I talked to Mark. I told him that I understood how freaked out he was by my heart attack....I was too. I told him I want to be around for another 40-50 years, but I understand it could all be over tomorrow, so I want to be sure I live each day the best I can. I told him I want grow old with him. I also told him that things had to change in my life in order for all the good things I want to happen. There were some tears. In the end, we agreed that we would change things in our lives to make sure we are happy and healthy, and living the best life we can.

Isn't it funny what a heart attack can do.

I have running goals again. It starts with getting stronger, gaining stamina, increasing miles, and being healthy. My goal is to run at least one more marathon. I know that will take time. I understand the steps to get there. It starts with right foot, left foot repeat, and goes from there. 5Ks will come. Half marathons will be run. I will do 26.2 miles again. I'm determined.

Isn't it funny what a heart attack can do.

This week my longest run was almost 3 1/2 miles. I felt good. I wasn't fast, but I didn't care. I ran. Today's run was 2 miles. It was a beautiful run. Saw plenty of happy people out on the trail. I enjoyed myself and running.

Isn't funny what a heart attack can do. The Heart sometimes has to let you know what's going on, in order to make important changes.

Dear Heart - the next time you have a message for me, could we not make it so dramatic?

Hugs,
Charlie

In Other News.....

The day after my heart attack, I weighed 273 lbs. That only could have given me another heart attack, but it didn't. Today I stepped on the scale, and looking back at me was 253 lbs. Great strides have been made, and more strides to come.

Charlie

Running

Let's talk running. I've talked quite a bit now about my recovery from the heart attack, so let's get back to the running game shall we? I've been running. Am I ready for a marathon? Well....no. Each run has felt like one though, and that's ok.

I've been running about 3 times a week,  ranging between 15. mile and 3 mile runs, depending on how I feel. For the most part I feel good out there. Clearly I don't have a ton of stamina, but that will come with time. Also, I'm not running fast. Again, this is to be expected.

For now I'm not timing myself. I will soon, because I think it's important to know how long I'm out there. I'm not as keen on timing my pace yet. As I have mentioned many times before, there is something very freeing in running without a gadget on your wrist. You don't feel the sense of urgency to hurry up. There's no, "I gotta do a 12 minute mile." I find I enjoy my runs more without worrying about the time. I've long felt each of us should do at least one run a week where we leave the computer/app/watch at home. Try it.

There are two new things I take with me at all times on my run: my phone and my nitroglycerin. I know I just talked about leaving the gadgets at home. This is for emergencies, and it stays in the belt I wear. So I never take it out for anything other than a call for help. The nitro is with me at all times. I need it in case I have the feelings of bad heart things, then I can sit for a few moments take it, and then when I feel better, could walk home, or call someone to help me.

My body feels good for the most part when I'm out there. My left knee has some lingering pain from earlier in the year, but I find that goes away once I get into a groove. I still want it checked out though.

So I am out on the roads again and feeling good. Once I feel I have some solid running under my belt, it will be time to plan my next race.

Charlie

Graduation and Old Men

Today I graduated from rehab. I was given a diploma and a shirt, and was told I was a model patient.  For the last day they have you fill out a bunch of surveys, then they test you. On Day 1 I had to walk as much as I could in 6 minutes. The first day, I walked 1300ft. Today I walked 1490 ft.

So how did I celebrate the end of this part of the journey? I went out for a run. The weather was ideal for a run on the Monon. I did 5K. It was not the fastest 5K, but it was probably my most satisfying. I felt good out there. Every 1/4 mile I took a walk break. No watch, as I didn't care about the time. The goal was to accomplish this run.

As always, I did some thinking. I thought about Al, the older gentleman who used to look out for me on my runs in Chicago. I thought about how I missed his encouragement, and his friendship. I miss his looking out for me, and making sure I'm good on my runs. I'm sure he has passed on by now.

Then I smiled. I have another older man in my life. It's the gentleman I stopped to help who broke his ankle. He comes and spends time with me every Saturday on the Monon as I pass out water. He seeks my advice. Oh, he almost never takes it, but he seeks it, and he likes talking running with me. I should ask if he would like to go for a run sometime. I bet we are the same pace. :-)

I hope when I am older, I will be a runner's old man. I'll be the old guy encouraging, and maybe running with someone who just needs someone to provide a bit of support.

As I finished the run, my goal was to finish strong, and I thought about Al and how he told me I looked good. Well today I looked good. Hope Al was watching.

Charlie

10 Weeks Since....

Tomorrow is my last day of rehab. Today it's 10 weeks since my heart attack. Not a day goes by where someone asks how I'm doing or feeling. Today I'm good. In the last 10 weeks I've had good and not so good moments.

What gives me a lot of hope is the progress I've made. Today I ran 2 miles. I even ran negative splits. I ran the first mile in 16:45 and the second mile in 16:32. Today's run was on a treadmill, but I am about to transition to more outdoor running. As we head into Fall, I'm glad to be heading out during my favorite time of year.

I've learned a lot about the people in my life these past 10 weeks. I've learned rises to the occasion to help someone in need. I've also learned about those who don't really know what to do. Those are the uncomfortable ones. It's easy to blame them for not stepping up, but in the end, not everyone has the ability to help. I'm not mad at them. I feel more sorry for them, because at some point, they will need some help, and may not understand why no one is helping.

I've learned I have to really dig deep and depend on myself to get through this. Now this is not a smack against all the people who help. It means, I am the only one who can make myself stronger and healthier.

One of the things I am proudest of is re-learning about food. I enjoy cooking. Healthy food doesn't mean it tastes bad. You have to learn how to make it tasty.  My sister, Anne and I have exchanged meal ideas and photos of our meals. That's helped me quite a bit. I have also enjoyed reading the various recipes I want to try. Still looking for that magic low sodium pizza though.

So the last 10 weeks have been a learning curve, and I still have more learning to do. I know there will be bumps in the road....afterall that is life. Still I'll take the bumps, over not being here.

Charlie

16:27

Yesterday I went to the gym for a workout. My goal was to run some and bike some. The run was my main focus.

I've been slowly building my speed and stamina in rehab, and yesterday I wanted to see what I could do. Overall I was pretty pleased with what I did. I ran 1 mile in 16:27. Now to the untrained eye, someone might say, hey there are folks that run much faster. True, but considering what I have been through since July, I think 16:27 is like a 4:00 mile.

I felt good at the end of the run. I could tell I worked hard, which is one thing they want me to do in rehab. So on a scale of 1-10, 10 being way too hard a workout, I think I did an 8. More importantly I lived to tell about it.

I transitioned to the bike, where I pedaled a nice 3.62 miles. At the end of the workout, my legs felt like they had been through a bit.

Overall I really good workout. This morning in the weigh in - 255 lbs. Down 18 lbs since the heart attack.

Charlie

Greetings, Bikes and a Run

This morning my friend Kris and I ventured out on the Hagen-Burke Trail, towards the Monon for a run. To be fair, the run part is a work in progress. Still we trotted down the trail.

The trails were busy today. Lots of people on bikes were zipping by with the words, "On your left," ringing in our ears. The other thing we heard over and over again was greetings. People kept telling us hello, good morning, etc.. Lots of friendly folks on the trail today. It made for a friendly and happy re-etnry to running outside.

My running has consisted of a few minutes here and there on the treadmill for a couple weeks. Today I wanted to actually go somewhere. I knew the pace would be slow, and the miles wouldn't matter. The watches stayed at home. There was no GPS in sight, and off we went.

Basically we ran until I felt I needed to walk, then we would run again. Overall we covered about 2 miles. We walked a majority of it, but the running felt good. It made me feel like something normal was coming back to me slowly.

It's the feeling of normality which is very important to me at this point. I understand what the limitations are at this point in time. I understand what the process is to be healthy. No one really explains how to feel normal about this. For me running is a part of feeling normal again.

There will be other runs, but it all starts with a first real run.

Today was a good start, and I look forward to more runs.

Charlie

The Unknown

I was talking with someone at work the other day, and they asked me, as far as heart issues goes, what am I afraid of. I think it's the unknown. They looked at me a bit puzzled, but let me explain.

When you cut yourself, you can, over time see that it's healed. If you break a leg, you have a cast which indicates the bones are in the process of healing. A heart is different.

There it sits inside my chest, and I don't know what it's doing. I don't know what the arteries are doing. When I am aware of something wrong, I think it's a bit late. So there is a lot I have to do to make sure I have a healthy heart. Still, because it hides inside me, and there is nothing visibly showing(not that I want that), I worry about the unknown.

For those who have wondered, I am doing fine for the most part. I have had a couple episodes when I have had to take the nitroglycerin, but am fine. Rehab is going well. I have not run since last week, but I'm not in a rush to do that.

As for that old nemesis stress, I am working on reducing it. That is the toughest thing I have to do. Ironically, it can be a bit stressful to reduce stress. Overall, I feel pretty good. I just worry about the unknown.

Charlie

The Road to Recovery: Running

This morning when I checked in at rehab, they asked me if I was ready to ramp things up a bit. I told them I was game and ready to go. Typically this is the routine in rehab: stretch, walk two laps around the room, do resistance training for a few minutes, 15 minutes of cardio, resistance, 15 minutes of cardio, stretch and cool down walk. Today the cardio was back to back, and I could run.

Just to be clear, this is all being monitored, and no, I wasn't running like I used to. This was intervals on the treadmill, strapped to monitors, with the blood pressure check. My walk interval was 3.1mph, my run interval was a 3.6mph, which in terms of time per mile is walking at 18:45 min/mile, and running 16:45 min/mile. I would do one minute walk, and one minute run.

I was nervous as I started. I hadn't run in months, and now I was running after a heart attack. When I switched to the run part of the workout, I felt like I had been cut loose. No blazing speed, but I ran. Of the 15 minutes, I ran about 6 minutes. They asked me to stop at one point, because the monitors were not sending accurate readings, so they had be stop running, and do some brisk walking. Still I ran.

I didn't feel any tightness in the chest. I felt my heart beating, but it wasn't bad. My blood pressure went from 122/64 to 140/66. All was good.

This was an important step in my recovery, and an important step for my mental well being.

The rehab folks asked how I felt at the end, and I told them great. With that, I got a thumbs up and a "See you tomorrow" from them.

Today was a great step on the road to recovery.

Charlie

It's What You Do

Over the last month and some odd days, I've had a bit of time to think about life; who we are, what we do, how we live. During this time, I've also read a lot about things going on in the world, and the reactions to the trouble and tragedies out there. Concerning is an understatement in how I feel about the state of the world.

We are living in a troubled time. In the world wars are being fought in the name of religion, when it truly isn't the case. At home, we are living through an ugly period, where the poor get blamed for being poor, the color of our skin still divides us, who we love is challenged, selfishness is celebrated and lack of reason and clarity seem to be ruling the day.

So as I'm recovering from this heart attack, I'm thinking about how I live and what my place in the world is. I wonder about my quality of life, and am I really living my life. Once I do that, a lot of the negative things are put in perspective, and I find I want to do better for myself.

Work has been a source of stress, and this week I was challenged quite a bit. You wouldn't think that would happen on the first week back from a heart attack, but it was. I listened to a good number of unhappy people talk to me about what they don't like about their jobs. I saw a lot of sadness. I was recipient of actions taken by someone I think is pretty miserable at this time. Typically I would get upset too. I didn't this time.

This time I thought about how sorry I feel for them. I thought about how the sadness going on could be overcome. I felt pity towards the person who wasn't good to me. I also felt a certain amount of powerlessness, because I can only control my actions and how I live, and couldn't help these people.

The overriding thought during the recovery has been, it's about what you do with your life. That is what counts. Do you enjoy life? Does what you do bring meaning to you? Are you good to other people? I am more aware than ever that we have a finite time on this planet. This is our shot(unless you are a big believer in reincarnation). We waste so much time being angry, laying blame, being bitter,  reliving past mistakes, we forget those actions use up an incredible amount of energy.  We would be so much better off, if we could live more in the present, and what we are going to do, then look back, have regrets, and cling to the bad. It's what we do with our lives that makes it better. It really is.

Charlie

Part of the Community

Today was the end of week 1 at work. Saturdays are the days we coach the training program out of our store. The runners/walkers head out for a long run, depending on what they are training for. I go out on the Monon Trail and provide water. This is one of my favorite part of my job, because it really connects me to the running community.

The runners were happy to see me back at work. Some knew of the heart attack, others didn't. I talked for a few minutes before they headed out about how important running had been to my health, and why I believe the heart attack could have been much worse if I hadn't been a runner.

I was on the Monon with the water. Runners were going by; some would wave at me, or give a shout out. Others would eye me suspiciously(why is there a guy with water out on the trail?). My runners were happy I was out. It gave them a chance to rest, ask questions, chat, etc.

At one point an older man came up to me. "Charlie!" he shouted. "I'm so glad you're here. I've wanted to talk to you for a long time now, "he said.  I've written about this gentlemen in the last year. In fact it was almost a year ago.

http://running-with-coffee.blogspot.com/2013/09/being-good-samaritan-cost-long-run.html

This was the man I had seen during my run, sitting on the Monon, cradling his foot after a fall. No one had stopped to help him, so I stayed with him until his wife came to get him. I hadn't seen him since that day.

Today he was walking up to me, clearly better. He told me he had broken his ankle that day. It took him a few months to heal. Now he can run, but he isn't running 6-10 miles like he had in the past. Now he's good for 3-4 miles.

He wanted to thank me for staying with him that day. He thought it was a big sacrifice on my part, because I was doing a long run that day, and stopped to help him, thus ending my run that day. I told him I was happy to do it, and was just shocked no one had stopped to check on him.

The conversation turned to shoes and running in general. Towards the end of the talk, he told me he has always appreciated my help, and sends people to see me all the time. He was kind enough to tell me he thinks of my store and me as an important part of the running community. I thanked him, and prepared to take down my water table. He asked if I was going to make this a Saturday thing. I told him I always do. He asked if he could hang out with me some Saturday. Absolutely.

The running community is an amazing community of support. I wish all aspects of it were as nice, but no community is a utopia. It was a good morning though.

Charlie

Stress and How We Deal With It

This is my challenge as I strive towards better health - how do we deal with stress? Deep breathing seems to be a popular suggestion, though if I take too many more breathes,  I think I'll get a reputation for having asthma.  Today yoga was suggested. I've done yoga before, and I get why people finding it meditative, I don't. I read of a T'ai Chi class at the hospital, but I don't think standing in the "Repulse Monkey" pose is for me. The life coach recommended reading the Bible. I always view the Bible as a textbook, and not a curl up and relax book.

One of my staff told me we can never achieve a stress free life. Even if we were to live on a tropical island paradise, something would stress us out. My response was we live in a society where we live to work. I want to be able to work to live.

I'm not able to talk about the stress I have at work, but it's substantial. So how do you handle the day to day stress, and keep a job? There's the puzzle.

Good friends have given advice. Oddly enough, lawyer and psychologist were not suggested. Plugging away appears to be winning. How far to you plug though until you risk another heart attack? Is it worth it? More to the puzzle.

I wish I could tell you I got a warm welcome back to work, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. I was dealt with....for lack of a better term...crap. So it's hung with me all day. I've spent most of the evening in the bedroom, because I just don't want to deal with things.

I had a long talk with Mark. He gave me hugs. He utter obscenities(not about me). He cooked a pork chop dinner(no applesauce). He was the good partner.

Friday is by my side. She occasionally looks at me, gives me a lick now and then. She's a good dog.

Tomorrow is another chance to do better. I was told in the hospital, and I think this is how I will have to deal with stress. It isn't one day at a time, or even one step at a time. It's one moment at a time.

Charlie

A Month Since.....

It has been a month since I had my heart attack. To say it's been quite a month would be a gross understatement. It's been a learning experience on many levels. First and foremost, I re-learned that our bodies are precious, and we need to take care of them, listen to them, and do right by them. This is what we have and the only life we get(though I still want to come back as an Olympic Athlete next time around).

A crisis like this brings out different things in different people. Some people get incredibly brave and strong. Some retreat and are never sure what to do. Others just go with the flow of the moment, and can be there if you need them. I've encountered all three of these types in my recovery.

We have a tendency  to take friendships and relationships of any kind for granted. Then you get a heart attack, and you have time to really think about the people in your life. For the last month I've gotten so many well wishes, acts of kindness, hugs, kisses, notes, texts, in short - I've gotten a lot of love. There are people out there who I had never met before the heart attack, who have shown me much kindness. If I have enjoyed anything about this ordeal, it's the love I have felt.

In thinking about the people in my life, I have to say, I have one of the more eclectic, loving group of friends a person can have. I've said this, and I will say it again, the friends we make each represent little parts of ourselves. Everyone in a situation like this says this, and it is a cliche, but there is so much truth when it is said, "I'm the luckiest person alive to have such wonderful people in my life."

The rehab has been quite the experience. Being the youngest one in the rehab center(of late), I see people a lot older than I am, in a lot worse shape. I'm very fortunate to get the care and treatment I needed as soon as possible, or this could have been much worse.

Still I enjoy the people watching in rehab. There are the 70somethings talking business. There is the woman who works out when I do, and all she does is walk on the treadmill and watch the Today Show. There is the African-American man who calls me buddy, and tells me I look serious, and I mean business. I just smile and nod in agreement. There are the nurses on duty who are absolutely wonderful and attentive. It's fun to watch this all unfold three times a week.

When you have a heart attack, you have to change your lifestyle. I am no exception. Even though I've been a runner, there are still things to I need to do. Sodium seems to be the Devil. They told me to keep my sodium intake to under 2000 mg a day. If My Fitness Pal is correct, I have kept it closer to 1500. I've noticed I don't feel good if I have close to 2000 mg.

The diet I eat, which is different from being on a diet, is an adventure. Fruits and veggies are the key. Meat is limited. Portions are everything. Creativity is a must. In this respect I have turned into my mother. I always love reading cookbooks, now I not only read them more attentively, I am writing recipes down, and cutting out recipes from Bon Appetit. I'm creating a notebook of recipes like mom had.

Farmers Markets are my friends. This is fun. If you have a market in your town - go. If you don't seek one out and go. These are fun, and they open the possibilities to what you can make. The produce is so much better from these markets than the grocery store. The people who sell the produce are so friendly. I am a Farmers Market lover. For the record, this year's sweet corn is like eating sugar off the cob. I've never had such sweet corn in my life.

If I have one obstacle in my way, it's stress. This is the leading factor which led to my heart attack. I have lots of it. I've joked the two places I have stress are home and work. The challenge  is to figure how to cope and manage the stress of things. I don't always talk about the issues when they come up. I keep quiet. I've decided to be a bit more vocal, and get things out of me. I doubt this will go over well, but not saying something keeps it inside you, and that isn't always good.

I have to pick and choose my battles. The ones I don't choose, I have to let go. This is tougher at work, because there are a lot of battles. Usually they are around the same theme. This will be a toughie. Any ideas?

Ok, I don't want to write a novel today. I did want to get some thoughts on the last month out. I will end with this.... I go back to work next week. I'm nervous about it, because I don't know how it will go. Fear though can't hold me back. I have a strong support system with all of you, and if I need a Brute Squad, I got plenty of people to call.

Charlie

There are Down Days

Yesterday wasn't a good day.  The day was promising enough, I went to the gym. That's where it began to go downhill. I was going to do 45 minutes, but I found I got tired. So I worked out for 30 minutes instead.  I didn't feel good like I normally do after the gym, but I thought it would pass.

I dropped by work to talk to my assistant manager. He will be on vacation the day I return to work, so I wanted to talk about things going on, so I'm not lost(or too lost) on Day 1. That went fine, but I noticed as we spoke about my boss, my chest started to feel tight. I did as was suggested and sat down for a bit, and that made it feel better. Still I just didn't feel good.

As the afternoon wore on, I felt the tightness come and go. Mark came home in a bad mood from work. Seems he had a bad day too. So the mood at home wasn't great. I felt the elephant sitting on my chest though, and I thought, "Ok, I better take some nitroglycerin." Not a wonderful feeling in the mouth, I must say.

I went into our room, and laid down for a bit, and let the nitro do it's thing. In about 15 minutes I was breathing better. I didn't feel as flush and the tightness was gone.

There was a good thing for the day. I got socks! My good friend Jen Rudd sent me three pairs of coffee themed socks. Now really what is there not to like about that. Jen is a doll, and I clearly need to go spend time with her in California(never fear, I haven't packed nor am I on my way).

Everyone with heart disease has down days. This was simply my first down day since the heart attack. Today is rehab, and I'm going to discuss this with the therapists. I'm also going to hope today is a better day.

Charlie

What Led Us to Today

This weekend on Facebook, I've have been profusely thanking an old friend of mine, Keith Dunn, for organizing the opportunity for Mark and I to see Bianca Del Rio. For those not in the know, Bianca Del Rio won this last season's RuPauls Drag Race(one of my most favorite shows). She is a wonderfully funny drag queen.

Keith and I worked together in 1985/86 at the Indiana Repertory Theatre in Indianapolis. We were in the box office and sold tickets, and handled customer issues. I don't believe I ever told this to Keith, but he was my first gay friend to pal around with. Oh trust me, I knew gay people, but at that point I hadn't been out long, and those who were gay were closeted. He not only was my co-worker, but he was my bar buddy. He introduced me to the bars in Indy; The Varsity, Talbott Street, OP's(now Greg's), and I think we might have gone to The Unicorn.

Back then, I enjoyed bars to a point, and then I would get depressed. I felt bad for Keith at the time, because I thought he must of thought I was a mess. I kind of was. Back then I was misdiagnosed as HIV+(but would not know it was a misdiagnosis for 2 years), and I felt very alone. So at certain points in the night, I would feel a bit down. He always did his best to cheer me up.

What you don't know then, is what you know now, and I thought about it this weekend. Who knew almost 30 years ago, that he and I would renew our friendship via Facebook, and he would be instrumental in picking up my spirits after a heart attack. Keith put the word out that I wasn't able to get tickets to the now sold out Bianca Del Rio show.

As it turns out an old friend from his Indy days came through. LaNora Takie works at the bar, and is an old friend of Keith's. She got Mark and me into the show, and also the meet and greet. Yes, we got to meet Bianca Del Rio. I had never met her until I went to the bar Friday night, and I made sure to give her a big hug of thanks. She is a sweetheart.

What I'm getting at is, the people we meet in our lives, we are never really sure what roles they will play in our lives. I find it fascinating that you can lose touch with someone, as I did with Keith, then we meet up via the internet years later, and we are still friends. If my today self went back and told 1985 Charlie that in 2014 he would have a heart attack, and Keith would do something kind to brighten a down time, I think 1985 Charlie would have ignored that and asked, "Di I find a hot guy for a boyfriend." Yeah, I was a bit shallow when I wanted to be.

To some of you, this may seem like a "duh" kind of post, but really, you don't know the roles people truly play in your lives. During the 80s, I went through a lot of sad times, so the friends I had in my life, I treated like family. They were family, and in my mind, still are family. I don't keep in touch with old friends like I should, but I treasure the times we had, and the love and affection we shared. Chances are, we still share that love and affection. It just doesn't always make itself known.

Charlie

The Lifestyle Coach

Yesterday I met with the lifestyle coach. Up to this point I've had nothing but wonderful things to say about the treatment and care I've been getting at Community. While this won't be negative, let me say, it just wasn't what I thought it would be.

The woman I met with was very nice, and made be feel comfortable in the examination room where we met. She did a basic review of my chart, and where I am at this point. Heart attack, stent, rehab, nutrition class, medication all got reviewed. I know the repetition is good, because it brings everything into perspective, and it makes them aware that you are aware of everything. This took up 15 minutes of a 30 minute meeting.

Then we talked stress. She asked me what gives me stress. I told her two things: home and work. I detailed where the stress comes from, and she gave me nods and smiles. She told me if I want counseling to deal with the stress I can, but what she mostly advised was breathing exercises. Really?

No, I wasn't expecting a magic pill which would take stress away, but deep breathing? Yeah, I understand there are benefits to it. I just thought there would be something a bit more in depth. Counseling? Yes I could do that again. It's been a couple decades, maybe I could use it. I just thought there would be more. Oh there was....she also told me a good many relieve stress by reading the Bible. She did suggest running. I think that one will work, once I get the approval to run(which should be soon in rehab).

Yes, I was expecting more. Considering the great and plentiful info I've gotten thus far, this just seemed lacking.

Charlie

The Checkup

This morning was my first visit to the cardiologist's office since my heart attack. This is a "how are you doing" visit. No tests, but I had my blood pressure checked on both arms. I was seen by the nurse practitioner.

So the good news is I am in good shape for having had a heart attack a little over 3 weeks ago. My blood pressure is normal. No changes need to be made on my medications. My rehab is producing good results. I got a big thumbs up to my going to the gym to workout a couple times a week. All in all, I would say a great checkup.

We did talk about nitroglycerin. It scares me quite a bit. Must be all the old movies I used to watch, where things go boom! The NP told me when it's appropriate to take it, so I'm more comfortable with that.

We discussed my running. When I can start running again will be left more in the hands of the rehab folks, and my progress. I've made it clear to them that I want to do that again. Everyone agrees that is an important step for the future.

I'm pleased with the visit. To celebrate, I went to the gym after and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Felt good.

Charlie

Weight

When I was in the hospital I weighed 273 lbs. Those who know me, know I weighed 200lbs 8 years ago. Clearly there has been a slow progression towards being heavier. A number of factors are in play.  Stress is probably number one. I am an emotional eater. Stress drives me to food. You can have all the understanding of food and nutrition, but when you are sad, stressed, down, etc., you eat. I did.

Lack of running. Over the last few years my running has slowed to a crawl. If you aren't active, you gain weight - period. Working in a running store doesn't mean you have time to run. Retail hours are still retail hours. It takes committment to make running happen, and I didn't make it a priority.

Running as a business. I lost sight of running for myself as a source of enjoyment, and saw it more as a business. The minute something is a chore, we don't want to do it. The challenge is to turn the chore into fun.

At this point, I am eating better. Stress is still with me. Really after a heart attack, how are you not stressed that you won't have another one. So while I am figuring that out, the snacks I am eating are more regulated and healthier. My fave of late is a handful of unsalted cashews. Yummy.

Right now, I am 266 lbs.. This is progress. To help further the progress, Mark and I have finally re-joined a gym. For now I will be walking. My doctor told me running won't happen for at least 3 months, maybe more. It depends on my recovery. I can walk though. It's what I do in rehab, and I can do it at the gym, or anywhere. The gym gives me the incentive to go do something.

So while I am not happy about the weight, I am working on it, and focused on losing it as part of my recovery.

Charlie

Stress

Since my heart attack, the mantra has been "You have to reduce stress." I'm finding that is easier said than done. Stress comes in little packages, as well as big packages. It isn't always the big event. Sometimes, it's pulling out of the driveway, and being confronted with traffic.

For me stress is a number of issues. Money issues are always there, and they always cause me a certain amount of stress. Then again, money in general has always been a source of stress for me. When we were young, the simple act of asking for an allowance, or for a new toy, was met with 20 questions. This has carried over into adulthood. I get stress if I have to part with more than $50 for something.

The next issue is work. My work is not stressful. It's the things around my work which bring stress. Lack of good communication, so I can do my job effectively brings me a great deal of stress. I can handle the angry customer in front of me. I go nuts if I have to ask a question requiring timely response, and the response either requires me to ask several times, or I wait too long. Pick and choose your battles. I always pick communication, because it determines how well you can do your job.

Finally I think about the stress I self induce. If I am OCD on anything it's time. For me, being 5 minutes early is on time. I have a big problem with tardiness, and it churns my up inside to not be on time. So clearly, this is something I can work on. The others sometimes feel beyond my control.

Next week I sit down with a lifestyle coach who is going to talk to me about my life, where my stress is, and how to reduce it. Should be an interesting topic to say the least.

Charlie

The Routine

Today was the first active day of rehab. It's about a 45 minute workout. It starts with me attaching various heart reading things(the technical term) to my chest. This measures my heart rate as I workout. Also, once I rip them off my skin, it serves a dual purpose of waxing my chest. After a quick blood pressure check I am off.

There is stretches, a couple laps around the room, and some weight lifting. Don't worry, no bench pressing 200lbs here. I did 4 lbs weights today. 200 is next time. After this is done, you get into the cardio aspect. I got on the treadmill, got me walking at a 3.0 MPH, and was off on a 10 minute walk. After 5 minutes they took my blood pressure again, it had gone up, but it was expected it would, and I was well within the norm.

After the treadmill, I have to do the weights again. Same routine, same 4 lbs. Once this is done you move on to the next 10 minute cardio exercise. I did a seated bike. Again, I did 3.0 MPH. It seemed the effort was more on this, then on the treadmill. The nurses come by and ask on a scale of 1-10 what our effort is. The goal is to be in the 4-6 range; light moderate, to heavy moderate exertion. I felt both the activities were 5's.

Once the second cardio is done, then it's the weights, stretches and laps around the room. At the end, you sit until they tell you that you're done. They are checking all the measurements to be sure everything is normal. They ask if you are feeling dizzy or are in pain. If everything checks out, you go home. All was good, so I headed home.

Tomorrow I do it all over again, and then I meet with a nutritionist.

Charlie

They Told Me I Had to Go to Rehab, and I Said, "Yes, Yes, Yes"

This morning I headed to my first visit in the rehab clinic. This was not a workout day, but a testing and questions day. I was asked all kinds of lifestyle and nutrition questions. We reviewed my medication, took vitals, and went over what I will be doing.

At this point in the game here is what I know. In six minutes I can walk 1300 ft., which the nurse told me is good. I weigh 265 lbs. When I was in the hospital I was 273 lbs. So since July 7, with healthy eating I have lost 8 lbs. The goal for rehab is to get me moving, and lose 10 lbs. Seems like a good goal.

They asked me what my overall goal was. I told them I want to get to a point where I can run like I did. I was told I should be able to do that. For now, I walk. I will go to rehab 3 times a week(Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 8am).

I mentioned on Facebook I was the youngest patient in the room. The nurse confirmed that. So for the moment, I'm the youngest.

On the eating front, while Anne was here, we began to establish better and healthier eating. We have discovered the Farmers Market, and brought lots of fresh produce home. We are looking through cookbooks and websites for tasty healthy meals. I'm not to do fad diets, or anythings rash. I am to cut down on fat, sodium, and manage portions.

I'm feeling ok physically. I have times when I haven't eaten I get a bad headache. I snack or meal takes care of that.

I'm also dealing with some depression. This is hard for me. I think I cried for about 10 minutes yesterday, which poor Mark had to endure. He was good though and assured me things would get better.

Also...we are looking at a gym to join. Planet Fitness offers $10 a month and no commitment.  We're going to give that a try, as Mark is with me on this. We want to be sure he doesn't get a heart attack.

Charlie

How to Manage Cooking

The message from the doctor was pretty simple - low sodium/low fat diet. Of course when we think of a diet like this, we think tasteless food, bland even. This is where creativity and planning come into play. Cooking a healthy meal requires some prep work, and an ability to try different things.

Instead of salt, use pepper, or garlic powder, or onion powder. If you have a spice rack, you have a lot of options in front of you. Maybe a dash of chili powder to give that pork a bit of kick? Maybe some tarragon for that chicken?

Time in this day and age means we prepare meals fast and on the go. To make the right heart healthy choices, you need to slow down a bit and prepare. We are getting a memo board for the kitchen, which will allow us to plan meals, and what we need to prepare. The world may be fast paced, but your kitchen doesn't have to be. Plus if you do enough prep, then the cooking part will be quicker, and maybe more fun.

This is our plan for now. Tonight, I'm thinking pork chops....now what to do to make it more interesting.....

Charlie

Adjusting

For those who have been through a heart attack, or those who have loved ones who have gone through it, you understand there is a period of adjustment. This is my period of adjustment. Emotionally I am still stunned this happened, and a bit depressed over it.

I also know Mark is having a difficult time adjusting. Difficult is probably an understatement. He doesn't want to talk about what he is going through, but he tells me he knows he needs to talk about it. I feel bad for him.

I have to focus on how I am coping though, and be a bit selfish, in that good way. I'm more aware of what my body is doing, probably hyper-aware. That's good I think. I'm more cautious about what I do. I know in time that caution will fade as I feel stronger, but for now, I'm good with it.

It's been good having my sister here. Of course it's fun to have Sabrina here, as she helps me take my mind off the really bad things that have happened. Never underestimate the power of Uno games.

Anne is helping us re-evaluate what we eat, she's helping with household chores, doing some driving for us. She's a good nurse, and an even better sister. She's preparing us for when it's just Mark and me.

Friday is also being extra good, and loves the fact there is someone home all the time now.

In over a week I will begin rehab, then I have doctors visits to do. The main thing for now is to reduce stress. That's why I'm oh so glad the insurance company is already letting me know what is being covered and how much....did you catch the sarcasm.

Hard to believe a week ago my life changed. While it happened fast, adjusting to a new lifestyle will take time.

Charlie

Home

Hello All....

I am home from the hospital where Mark, my sister Anne and my niece Sabrina are taking great care of me. I'm feeling good. Occasionally I'm tired, but I will take that over how I felt a few days ago.

Today I was visited by a home health nurse who took my vitals, quizzed me on my meds, and just did an overall check of how I was doing. She thought I looked great, and I told her I felt really good.

I did go walking today. I walked at the mall. Am a bit tired, but feel it was a good thing to do, without pushing it.

On the food front, we are learning how to reduce sodium(mostly by reading labels and being stunned at the amount of sodium in foods). Anne took us to Paradise Cafe and Bakery. I had an amazing salad. Strawberry Poppyseed and Chicken. I ordered the 1/2 salad which tasted so summery and good. The salad has(other than the previously mentioned items), mandarin oranges, pineapple, blueberries and pecans. The Poppyseed Dressing I had on the side and used sparingly.

Bottom line - feeling good and glad to be home.

Charlie

The Road to Recovery

Hello My Friends,

It looks like this blog is about to take a new turn, and hopefully for the better. Sunday night I suffered a heart attack. This originally came as a shock to me, but as I lay here in the hospital, thinking about things, it probably was going to happen. I have not been actively running, and I had put on a lot of weight. Add the stress in my life....heart attack.

My life is taking a new journey, and I have never been shy about sharing it with you. I have to re-learn the positive lifestyle changes I let go, and focus on living as healthy as I can for the rest of my life. I won't be running anytime soon. I will be walking though, and I will take you along on those walks. I will share the food habits I have to re-start, and I will discuss what is going on physically and mentally.

First off I should tell you I am scared. Nothing like this has happened to me, and I am scared of it happening again. I'm also a bit depressed that this has happened. I've been as upbeat as I can, but I am a bit depressed.

If you, or anyone you know has words of advice having gone through something like this. I am all eyes and ears.

In the meantime, I do my best to share as I go forward.

Charlie

What Do.....

What do a funny named shoe, a drag queen named Bianca, a scared garter snake and 2 miles have in common? Well it was all a part of my run today.

The goal as last time was to run 2 miles, as I slowly come back from injury after injury, and the dreaded weight gain. I have to remember not to be frustrated about doing 2 miles. It could be worse, I could be doing NO miles.

I headed to Westfield for a run north on the Monon. Off I went. Today I am running in my run only pair of Hokas. I have a pair for work, and one for running now. Hokas are an odd named shoe, that's for sure. While I don't believe in miracle shoes or products for running, this shoe comes close to it. It is built for long endurance runs like ultras, but you can wear this big bulky looking shoe for any distance. What will surprise you is how light it is - 10.8 oz. If you are a runner who battles injury, I encourage you to try this shoe.

So as I was slowly moving, I noticed movement a ahead. As I got closer, there it was - my arch nemesis - a snake. This was one of those so-called harmless garter snakes. It looked like he heard me coming, and the Earth was moving, because he was moving as quickly as he could to get out of my way. Yeah take that snake....run away from me.

The way back my knee was feeling a bit achy, so I tried adjusting my step a bit, and that seemed to help. Still once bad things happen on a run, you need to dig deep to get some inspiration to keep going. Today's inspiration came in the form of the drag queen Bianca Del Rio. Sorry, not just any drag queen, this is THE RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6 Winner, Bianca Del Rio.  She is an insult drag queen. Picture a far younger, prettier Don Rickles, and you get my drift.

So how did Bianca inspire me today. I needed something to say to myself over and over again to get through the doubt, and desire to stop. My phrase was ....

"Not today Satan, not today."  

Hey whatever works!

Overall I feel good about the run. I ran 1.7 miles and walked .3 today. Again, I will take that. Looking to do another 2 miles this week.

Charlie

Without the Brace

Today the goal was to run two miles - without the compression knee brace. For the record, my knee feels about 75%-80% better, but obviously not perfect. Not where I need to be that is for sure.

For now my goals are pretty simple. If it feels pretty good - go run. If I can, run more than I walk. So today I headed down the Hagen-Burke Trail. I was running in the Hoka Bondi's today. It takes a bit getting used to, running in those shoes. I'm not used to CUSHION!

Overall the run was fine. I did manage to run more than walk. I figured I walked 1/4 mile of the two miles I ran. I was slow, but then again, why do I need to be fast now?

I thought about the people who make excuses that they "jog." Oh please, it's right foot, left foot, repeat. There is no great trick to this. If you run slow....do it proudly. If you run fast....then Run Forest Run!

The knee bothered me some, but I was glad to have the extra cushion of the Hokas. All in all a good run. If I feel good tomorrow....then I will do it all over again.

Charlie

This n That

This is a hodgepodge of items for this post, there isn't a common thread, other than the theme of running.... :-)

1) This week's running consisted of two miles. I'll take it. After NOT running since November, two miles, is two more than I have done in months. This is a slow process to get back into running. I'm not pushing anything, other than to do a 5K this year.

2) Hokas - When I was a teenager, there were the Earth Shoes. For me those were a miracle shoe. They were the first decent looking non-orthodic shoes I could wear comfortable, and felt no pain in my feet.

Flash to the Hoka. It's too early to proclaim a miracle, but these shoes are great, and I feel virtually no pain in them when I walk. When I run, I feel a bit tender in the knee, but not enough to prevent me from running. I will do a more complete review once I have put more miles on them, but for now, they are helping me run.

3) Special Olympics - A couple months ago I came up with the idea of offering Special Olympics athletes a 20% discount in my store. I worked with the area chapter, and they had a donor who wanted to give each athlete a gift card to purchase shoes. It worked very well, and now about 40 athletes are running happy with new shoes.

My latest idea is also coming true. We offer a training program in the Summer for Fall races. The local SO chapter is going to select one athlete to come and train for a 5K with me. My store will provide the training and find a 5K in the Fall to get us into(complimentary). The county director loved the idea, and if it works, we will integrate more of the kids into the training programs in the future.

So it was a good week in my running world. Next goal - run 1.5 miles 3 times a week.

Charlie

The Slow Road Back

Today was an important day for me. I've had the back issues. I still have the LCL issue, but I was determined to run for the first time this year. The goal was 1 mile. The place was a flat, flat, flat, did I mention flat portion of the Monon. The plan was to run 1/2 and walk 1/2 if I could.

I needed some tools though.... A few weeks ago I tried walking in a Hoka Bondi. If you have not tried these shoes, I think they are worth it, especially if you are prone to injury or issues.

As I walked in the shoes at work, I noticed one thing, my left leg didn't bother me. It was the first time in months I walked around not feeling pain on the left side. The Hoka rep was kind enough to give me a pair to test out. So today I gave them a spin.

The other tool also came to me last week. CEP, which is a leader in compression, has designed a knee sleeve. I've used this at work for a week, and I notice I feel little discomfort on that left leg. So I thought I should put it to the test and run with it on today.

I got to my spot in the center of Carmel. I stretched a couple of minutes, and then, verrry slowly I started. It's awkward to run in new shoes. These were no exception. The Hokas are very cushy. Most of the time I don't like that kind of cushion, but today was ok.

I started with a slow jog, for 1/4 mile.  The knee area felt tender as I ran, but not too sore. I walked for the next 1/4 mile. My leg felt better. At the midpoint, I took a breather, then headed back to the car. This time I walked 1/4 mile. I ran the last 1/4 mile. Towards the end of the run, my main thought was not to push too hard. I could tell 1 mile was all the leg would allow today. At the end my leg was a bit sore, but not horrible sore. I stretched, and did a walk around the parking lot, then headed home.

Did I like the Hokas? I did. I'm not sure how they will hold up to my extreme supination. Time will tell. I was glad to have the brace on. Most important lesson....I need to have a doctor really look at this, and tell me what I need to do. $$$

The goal is to be able to run a 5K later this year. So today was a good first intro back. Felt good to be out there with the other runners.

Charlie

This Winter

Let's be blunt, for most of us this winter sucked for running. A good many people either didn't run, or they ran on the dread mill for hours at a time. I'm talking to a good many people gearing up for the Spring marathon/half marathon season who may not have run for two months, only ran on the treadmill, or are over training. In almost every case, they are complaining about pains and issues.

Folks, this is a gentle reminder, you can't make up lost training. Nope sorry. If you skipped a month of running, you can't do two months worth in one month to make up for it. Why? Injury. The greatest reason we get injured is from over training.

One gentleman insisted to me it was his shoes. It couldn't be the 5 miles a day he started doing(previously he was a 2 mile every other day guy). My fear is this race season will see a lot of people in a lot of pain on the road.

If you have to push through these races, I'm suggesting a good use of walking breaks. No, you actually don't have to run the entire race. You can take walk breaks, and no one thinks ill of you. Nor are you any less of a runner(no matter what the snobs say).

Use some sense, and you can get past the lack of winter training. Focus on some cross training and build/re-build your core. Make sure the shoes are good. Your local specialty running store can help you with that. Improve your nutrition. Put the donut down, and have something a bit better for you. Your insides will thank you, and it will improve your running.

It's Spring, but yes, we can overcome this past Winter.

Charlie

How Do I Run?

If anyone is still reading the blog, I'm sorry I haven't written since the marathon in September. To be honest, I haven't felt like writing here, because I haven't been running. The marathon ended at mile 13, when my back just kept feeling stiff and a bit sore. I knew I didn't have another 13 miles in me that day. I was fine stopping. I didn't get emotional as I thought I would.

Since then, I have only run twice. Neither run was spectacular. The back still bothered me. Once the back felt better, I sprained my LCL on my left knee. This bothers me some, but I am hoping to start running again. The problem is, how do I run?

Yes, I know it's right foot, left foot. With all the time away, I just don't know how to start. I feel lost, and have felt lost about running. It doesn't help that I have struggled for months in my personal and professional life. In short, I've been miserable. It would have helped to run, but I couldn't. Now I feel I want to start again, but, as I said, I feel lost on how to do this.

I have a goal of a 5K, maybe a 10K this year. Nothing lofty, nothing too much. I want to get back into it, and develop a routine, and remind myself of the love I have for this sport. I do love it, but there are days it's hard.

In the meantime, I've been coaching runners, but I feel like a fraud, because I'm not out there running. The worst part is I've gained quite a bit of weight, and I feel gross. So as I begin to come out of the mess that has been my non-running life, I hope some of you will give me some advice, encouragement, and maybe a spark to get me back.

I will write from time to time, and get back into the swing of things here. I've missed running, and I've missed writing on running.

Charlie