Saying Goodbye

Over the last few years I've told people the part of being an adult I hate the most is watching your parents go. It's is the most difficult thing we do. Our lives start with them caring for us, educating us, passing on their values. As we get older, they still offer us their wisdom, but subtle changes happen, where we, as adult children, feel we are on more equal footing with them. Finally comes the time where you have to be the caretaker and make the decisions. I've read all my life about how the roles of child and parent switch. I don't think it's as much switching, as we just assume a new role.

This morning my Dad, Joe Colpaert passed away. He was 97. That's a long life. During his lifetime, he had a great many joys, and probably more than his fair share of sorrow. He wasn't the most politically correct man. He was an honest and smart businessman. He and my mom traveled the world. He saw so much, and learned so much.

He and I did not always have the easiest relationship. The two of us are so different. It goes WAY beyond Republican vs. Democrat, heterosexual or gay. We were just too different. He didn't always want to see the world my way, but I know he expected me to see it his way. There were times I didn't speak to him, and there were times he didn't want to speak to me. Through all that though was a love we had for each other.

Death has a way of bringing that love to the surface. I won't go into the details of his death, as I feel that isn't appropriate. I will say, that before things went bad, he was able to convey to me how happy he was for me with my store, and its success. I am honored that my face was the last face he saw before leaving us.

He is at peace.

If there is truly is a Heaven, I am glad he is with Mom and David, as I know how much their passings affected him, and now he can be reunited with them, and all is well.

Now we deal with the what he left behind. More than things, a house, and memories, there are important lessons he left me with. I understand that the truly successful people in this world are honest, hard working, who treat people fairly and with respect. While I feel he was a man who did not easily show emotions, and would rather I not show the emotions I do, through him, I learned putting yourself out there has its pitfalls, but the rewards are so much better when you do. He probably didn't mean to teach that to me, but he did.

While I didn't always like or appreciate the fishing trips, the journeys to the endless boat shows, or all the other things he did with me that bored me to tears, I am glad to have had those experiences.

As I said my goodbyes to him before his passing, I told him I loved him, and I thanked him for everything, and to please tell Mom and David I love them. I'd like to think as he looked at my face he was telling me he loved me, and he would pass along my love.

Rest in peace Dad.

Love,
Charlie