Depressed

For those who regularly read this blog, you may know that when I am down, I tend not to write here. Well, I am more than down, I am down right depressed. I haven't run since January, and today I was signed up to run a marathon, which I had to back out of. I hate not running. I also hate complaining that I'm not running, but I'm going to do that here.

I have gained weight. I feel gross. I haven't been able to run, or get time in to see a doctor to see why I can't run. On top of this, I have races coming, that I will have to back out of. Did I mention I hate that?

Originally the pain was the left foot between the big and second toes. That is lessened, but both feet are sore all the time. I know some of it is from the weight I have gained. I can't be active though.

I am also dealing with stresses in my non-running life, at work, and non-work. As an emotional eater, you know what has happened. I know things will get better, because they have to. The problem is, they aren't, and that bothers me, because of my impatience.

Tomorrow, my first goal is to see when I can see a doctor. I have tried this before, but things get in the way. I am hoping by posting this here, I will be committed to calling the doctor.

So, yes, I am dumping today. Yes, I need some bucking up. Sorry to be so needy today.

Charlie