I am one month away from turning 50, or as someone so gently told me today - half a century. As I head into the final days in my 40s, I will do some reflecting on my life to this point. Some will have to do with running. Some won't. Regardless, it should be an interesting countdown.
As some of you may know, I wanted to be an actor when I grew up. When I saw my first Academy Awards, I knew what I wanted to do. It consumed me.
We had a large basement in the house I lived in as a boy. The main room was my stage. We had a large oval rug, which was the stage. We had a large stereo system. For you kids in the audience, we listened to something called records. My first records were old 78s my mom let me listen to. I listened to the scratchy music of the musical "Oklahoma." My first LP was the original cast recording of "My Fair Lady." Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews taught me that the rain in Spain, stays mainly on the plain. The most intense album I ever listened to Broadway wise was "A Chorus Line." The masterpiece musical about the life of performers trying to get in a show.
Our basement was filled with "The Sound of Music," as I sang and danced and performed. I had patient parents. Very rarely was I told to keep it down. I would get my sister Anne to be part of some of my "shows." She was a good sport. My dad even built me a puppet stage, so yes, I could do my own version of "The Lonely Goat Herd."
In middle school I was in drama and music. Not too many people know this, but in drama class we had to develop a play, and performed for elementary kids. I think we had a fairy android in it, a dragon, and some dancing. This was also an early performance by future actor Dean Norris of AMC's Breaking Bad. I don't think he was the fairy android though.
In music, I performed with the Mini Singers. It was kind of a pre-swing or show choir for the middle school set. We did musicals as well. I seem to remember a fun time doing Gilbert and Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore. I was sailor #3 I think. :-)
High school was more devoted to the my singing. I was in Swing Choir. We performed all over the city. We always opened with the "Getting to Know You" from "The King and I." We would enter the room or performance hall from all sides, shaking hands with the audience, making our way to the stage. Guys would be dressed in powder blue tux-like jackets with ruffles and clip on bow ties. The girls wore SHORT dresses and white gloves. I loved the performances and the friends I made. Of course it was embarrassing when my mom made some of my Swing Choir friends and me perform for her friends("Oh MOM!!!")
I was in two musicals in high school, "Oklahoma" and "Plain and Fancy"(yeah I never heard of it either). In "Oklahoma" I played Ado Annie's Pa. My big number was "The Farmer and the Cowman." I loved the part, mostly because I got to say, "Who the HELL are you!"
Towards the end of high school, I got to go to the North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, NC. If you have seen the film "Fame" you will have an inkling what my summers at NCSA were like. Yes there were classes ranging from fencing to tap dance to mask making to acting. There were also improv performances in the cafeteria, dances, and making some of the best friends I ever had. It was my last summer at NCSA when I came out. I kissed my first boy and thought, "WOW this is me." One of my oldest friends, Chris Runge, was the person I first told about my being gay. He was a great friend then, he is a great friend now. I love him so much.
Sadly, I was not accepted into NCSA for college. The critique of my audition was brutal. I was devastated for years, and I didn't act. I tried theatre in college, but I was too hurt by the rejection. Hindsight shows, that rejection is part of acting. If you can't take it, you shouldn't be in it.
Flash to the late 1990s. After my mother died, I thought a lot about regrets in life. I thought about my old dreams of acting. I decided I owed that dream one more try. I enrolled in classes at Second City in Chicago. Second City is an improv theatre which gave us the likes of John Bellushi, Gilda Radnor, Bill Murray, and most anyone who was funny in the mid to late 20th century.
I loved the classes. I worked hard, even though the classes were just for fun. One night, I was part of a midnight show on the stage at Second City. I developed an skit with a friend, and we performed it for the crowd. It was a take suggestions from the audience skit. It worked. I made people laugh. It was at that moment, I felt I accomplished what I wanted to. I had been on stage. I entertained people, and I made some folks laugh. I didn't need to do anything more.
I understand now I won't win my Oscar by the time I'm 50. What I did have in my life though, was a love and appreciation of the theatre. I made some wonderful friends, and I had some incredible experiences.
I am thankful to my parents for allowing me to explore my creativity. I am so glad they took me to Chicago to see plays and musicals. I still think a highlight was to go to Chicago and see the great Katherine Hepburn in "The West Side Waltz." Horrible play, but wow she was amazing.
I am thankful for the people who taught me Shakespeare, Ibsen, Sondheim, Rogers and Hammerstein, Moliere, Brecht, Simon(Neil and Mel), and so many great playwrights and composers. I may not have become an actor, but I became a more rounded person.
Charlie
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