One of the hardest things anyone can do is watch their loved ones suffer. This morning Mark had a seizure, his first in 1 1/2 years. I don't know how many of you have loved ones who suffer with this, but it breaks my heart everytime I witness one. Mark was in our bedroom, I was downstairs. He had told me he smelled the smell he typically smells before a seizure. Sometimes this happens and nothing, but not today. I told him to go into our room, and just be calm. Moments later I heard a huge thud.
I ran upstairs and found him face on the floor having a seizure. I began to get into soothing mode. I have no idea if it helps, but I am always calm, I speak loudly in case he can hear me. I try to keep him from hurting himself. In this case he had already hit his head, and was chewing his mouth and tongue.
His seizure went on for 30 minutes. The next 30 minutes was when he was part in seizure and part out. He is more awake, but not fully conscious. This is when he wants to walk around, usually to go to the bathroom. I was especially worried because he sprained his ankle last week. I did my best to guide him where he wanted to go. Eventually he came out of it, and I told him what happened. We both cried, because we knew how long it had been since the last one.
I spent the day with Mark. He is in tremendous pain from the shock his body goes through during these. I got him comfortable on the couch, and told him I needed to go for a run. He understood.
The run wasn't about speed or distance. In fact I only rant 1.67 miles. This run was about coping and getting my head together after the events of the morning. This is one thing I think running truly helps with - coping. It helps us collect our thoughts, calms us and just gets us out of the element for a short time.
It wasn't my best run, but it was probably my most needed run.
Mark is trying to sleep now. It won't be a good night for him or me, but at least we will try. Tomorrow a new non-seizure streak begins.
Charlie
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